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I want to kill.
I swear I do.
I swear I do.
4 went blind | erase me
and i can see myself in heaven, if i can free myself from this hell
i'm faded and tired, but i'd die again for you..
02 September 2009 @ 08:02 am
so i wrote a poem :p (082409)
MY HOME AWAITS
my heart yearns
for something my eyes cannot see
for something my hands cannot touch
my heart yearns
for something my mind cannot grasp
for something my soul cannot embrace
the longer i walk
the weaker i become
because my path is indefinite
and my light is dying
but i keep on walking
because i know, i do know
at my destination -
wherever it may be
however long my journey is
my heart will smile
MY HOME AWAITS
my heart yearns
for something my eyes cannot see
for something my hands cannot touch
my heart yearns
for something my mind cannot grasp
for something my soul cannot embrace
the longer i walk
the weaker i become
because my path is indefinite
and my light is dying
but i keep on walking
because i know, i do know
at my destination -
wherever it may be
however long my journey is
my heart will smile
20 August 2009 @ 09:10 am
it's been a while since i wrote something. i'm so happy the words came out again. i'm so happy they're still alive.
---
DAWN OF THE END
dark clouds circle the sky
therefore i cannot fly
it mirrors my eyes, my heart
this is not a desirable start
my ebony wings are at bay
why is it so? do say
i have no answers, no clue
i simply don't know what to do
my heart beats fast, i fear
my face is full of black smear
my eyes are blurred with tears
the end, my end, nears
and thus, the rain falls
harder and harder, it calls
it calls disaster, it screams pain
it summons sorrow, leaving me insane
i cannot escape, cannot fly away
it never ends - the night and day
it only gets darker and dark
today it is done, today's a mark
the wind howls, the thunder strikes
the tree burns, my wings alike
everything fades, everything lies
tonight my soul dies
---
i usually don't know where i get what i write. they just come. haha. i love them anyhow.
---
DAWN OF THE END
dark clouds circle the sky
therefore i cannot fly
it mirrors my eyes, my heart
this is not a desirable start
my ebony wings are at bay
why is it so? do say
i have no answers, no clue
i simply don't know what to do
my heart beats fast, i fear
my face is full of black smear
my eyes are blurred with tears
the end, my end, nears
and thus, the rain falls
harder and harder, it calls
it calls disaster, it screams pain
it summons sorrow, leaving me insane
i cannot escape, cannot fly away
it never ends - the night and day
it only gets darker and dark
today it is done, today's a mark
the wind howls, the thunder strikes
the tree burns, my wings alike
everything fades, everything lies
tonight my soul dies
---
i usually don't know where i get what i write. they just come. haha. i love them anyhow.
23 January 2009 @ 11:21 am
LOST
silence for a moment,
wrapped inside time,
deep within me.
wind creeps,
memories crawl.
tears fall.
and they keep on falling,
falling until sleep comes.
dreams play,
it lures, it wooes,
dreams trap.
it's my greatest fantasy.
i don't want to wake up.
and i don't wake up.
i never wake up.
silence for a moment,
wrapped inside time,
deep within me.
wind creeps,
memories crawl.
tears fall.
and they keep on falling,
falling until sleep comes.
dreams play,
it lures, it wooes,
dreams trap.
it's my greatest fantasy.
i don't want to wake up.
and i don't wake up.
i never wake up.
13 January 2009 @ 04:17 pm
white horse
taylor swift
Say your sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to.
As I pace back and forth
All this time cause
I honestly believed in you.
Holdin' on
The days drag on
Stupid girl I should have known, I should have known.
That I'm not a princess.
This ain't a fairytale.
I'm not the one you sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell.
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town.
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
Now it's to late for you and your white horse to come around.
Maybe I was naÎve, got lost in your eyes,
and never really had a chance.
my mistake, I didn't know to be in love
you had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams about you and me.
Happy endings, well now I know...
That I'm not a princess.
This ain't a fairytale.
I'm not the one you sweep off her feet,
lead her up the stairwell.
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town.
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
Now its too late for you and your white horse to come around.
And there you are on your knees.
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me.
Just like I always wanted but, I'm so sorry.
Cause I'm not your princess.
This ain't a fairytale.
I'm gonna find someone some day, who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world.
That was a small town, there in my rearview mirror disappearing now.
And it's too late for you and your white horse...
Its too late for you and your white horse to
catch me now.
Oh, Oh,Oh,
Try and catch me now ohh
Its too late
To catch me now
31 July 2008 @ 08:06 pm
Empty and hollow, all was taken
Hope I had forsaken
The eyes I seek are nowhere
The smile I need is not there
Every step I took,
In every way I look,
My heart did not want to stop
I never wanted to give up
I am drawn to you
But the world would not allow me to
We can’t be together
And that is sorrow forever
Destiny is not on our side
It will not let one moment slide
But now it loosens the chain
As our dream – our world – is slain
Now, hold my hand one last time
Let’s linger in our love sublime
31 July 2008 @ 08:03 pm
Have I not seen it before?
Or did I simply refuse to open my eyes?
I blinded myself,
Right then killing myself.
And now as I’m wrapped in anguish,
I turn to no one but a shadow.
I hold on to the numbing cold.
It spreads, slowly paralyzing me.
All my senses immobilized,
I’m frozen. Powerless.
I could wait until death takes me.
I could wait, but I shall do so in vain.
Because I know, I know.
You will never look back.
31 July 2008 @ 07:58 pm
Isang hakbang,
Nabalot ng kadiliman
Tumigil, huminga
Magmasid na maayos
Pakiramdam ang gamitin
Mata ay ‘di iisa
Pakinggan ang paligid
Wala na ang mundong kinagisnan
Nagliwanag, naglinaw
Sarili mo ay ‘di makita
Naglaho ka na ng tuluyan
24 January 2008 @ 08:01 pm
i love love our recent topic in psych! it about consciousness.. there the altered states of consciousness, sleep, hypnosis, esp, and my favoritest of all, dreams!!!:D wahahahaha:D we interpreted a dream and it so cool!! wee!!!:D
although.. it saddening too.. cos it remind me i not remember much much of what i dream.. it good that recently, i start remembering bits of 'em.. but, still.. *sigh*
oh, and when we talk abt esp a while ago, i remember what happen to me.. recently kase, i think of something and it happen.. one time, i saw maye's ring, and i wonder what happen when it gone.. days later, nawala nga.. katakot, para tuloy.. ah, ewan.. basta, i asked my teacher a while ago about it, she said it could be a form of precognition.. tho, it weird.. cos i not know it gonna happen naman eh.. i just wonder.. oh well.. it still fun!!:p
i wanna learn hypnosis! you could recover lost memories pala from that.. and lotsa other cool cool things!! teacher said everybody has esp, you just have to unlock it.. i wanna learn!!:p wahahahaha:)) i bet that would be lotsa lotsa fun! and, and.. if i learn mental telepathy, like teacher said, we not have to spend lotsa lotsa on load.. and! maybe i could talk to mama and papa that way!! right, right??:p heehee;))
oh, and yesterday.. tita ai give me mocha manju.. even if it just thru text, it made my hyper.. but since i not talk to anyone, i talked to my fone.. i recorded kari's very very hyper voice!!:)) i let my friends hear a while ago, they said kari so cute. wee!! i cute daw!! wahahahaha:))
hmph. i remember something bad. while ago in school, we have drug test. it so hard to force pee to come out! hmph!! i late for tutoring tuloy.. tsktsk.
otei, i running out of energy na.. i arrive here at my lolo's past 7, and i came from school pa.. have other homework pa pala.. and i watch our video presentation on fun ranch pa! wai!!^^
kari-slash-nami go now :D ooh. wait. that remind me. i still not know what nami stands for. :( mama not remember. anyway, that otei. it normal not to remember stuffies :)) *wavewave*:)
***
"i will hold you in my heart,
til' i can hold you in my arms.."
though i wonder..
when will i ever get the chance to hold you in my arms,
if i can't even hold you in my dreams?
tis such a cruel world.
it won't let me touch you.
but.. if it weren't for this world,
i wouldn't even know you.
i can't blame the world for my sorrow..
and the world cannot blame me for my tears.
although.. it saddening too.. cos it remind me i not remember much much of what i dream.. it good that recently, i start remembering bits of 'em.. but, still.. *sigh*
oh, and when we talk abt esp a while ago, i remember what happen to me.. recently kase, i think of something and it happen.. one time, i saw maye's ring, and i wonder what happen when it gone.. days later, nawala nga.. katakot, para tuloy.. ah, ewan.. basta, i asked my teacher a while ago about it, she said it could be a form of precognition.. tho, it weird.. cos i not know it gonna happen naman eh.. i just wonder.. oh well.. it still fun!!:p
i wanna learn hypnosis! you could recover lost memories pala from that.. and lotsa other cool cool things!! teacher said everybody has esp, you just have to unlock it.. i wanna learn!!:p wahahahaha:)) i bet that would be lotsa lotsa fun! and, and.. if i learn mental telepathy, like teacher said, we not have to spend lotsa lotsa on load.. and! maybe i could talk to mama and papa that way!! right, right??:p heehee;))
oh, and yesterday.. tita ai give me mocha manju.. even if it just thru text, it made my hyper.. but since i not talk to anyone, i talked to my fone.. i recorded kari's very very hyper voice!!:)) i let my friends hear a while ago, they said kari so cute. wee!! i cute daw!! wahahahaha:))
hmph. i remember something bad. while ago in school, we have drug test. it so hard to force pee to come out! hmph!! i late for tutoring tuloy.. tsktsk.
otei, i running out of energy na.. i arrive here at my lolo's past 7, and i came from school pa.. have other homework pa pala.. and i watch our video presentation on fun ranch pa! wai!!^^
kari-slash-nami go now :D ooh. wait. that remind me. i still not know what nami stands for. :( mama not remember. anyway, that otei. it normal not to remember stuffies :)) *wavewave*:)
***
"i will hold you in my heart,
til' i can hold you in my arms.."
though i wonder..
when will i ever get the chance to hold you in my arms,
if i can't even hold you in my dreams?
tis such a cruel world.
it won't let me touch you.
but.. if it weren't for this world,
i wouldn't even know you.
i can't blame the world for my sorrow..
and the world cannot blame me for my tears.
